Wrapped the first year of b-school a few weeks ago and all of the blood, sweat, and tears (and there were many) that it took to get here were definitely worth it.
As I reflect on the past year, I have few regrets, because I truly had a ball! The combination fo stellar classmates, the opportunity to explore dream career paths, and the NYC night life was the perfect recipe for a good time. Granted I do have mixed feelings about some things– I definitely struggled with balancing church with the b-school life. Let’s just say that today was the first time in months I sat through all 3 hours of church—and I caught myself scheduling a church dance on my calendar (I couldn’t believe it either–but let’s be real I couldn’t really pass on the opportunity to attend a church dance in TX). Yet even as I think back on my decrease in church activity, I don’t regret it happening. I think sometimes you need those lulls to reignite the fire. I’m just grateful that the only reckless habit I picked up during this past year was dancing on tabletops (I have no desire to break this habit–no desire at all). With that being said, I look forward to recentering myself this summer, with the goal of cultivating better habits for the Fall (one which includes updating this blog more regularly). To be clear this does not mean I will be attending church dances upon my return to the northeast–let’s not kid ourselves.
Until Next Time,
KW
This Sunday I will be wearing a skirt…
So this Sunday is the inaugural “Wear Pants to Church Day.”
The event, organized by a group of Mormon feminists, encourages Mormon women the world over to wear pants to church this Sunday in protest of the of the cultural myth that there is something wrong with women wearing pants to church. They believe this myth is perpetuated “by the cultural, structural, doctrinal inequality that persists in the LDS church today stems from the church’s reliance on – and enforcement of – rigid gender roles that bear no relationship to reality.” Their words not mine–hence the quotations. The event has over 1300 RSVPs on their facebook invite and even got a mention in Jezebel:http://jezebel.com/5967794/mormon-feminists-under-fire-for-encouraging-women-to-wear-pants-to-church. Granted I could care less about what people wear to church—just show up–but I thought I’d take this opportunity to state why I will not be joining in on the trouser wearing fun.
Before I launch into why I’ll be wearing a skirt on Sunday (besides the fact that skirts are my self imposed uniform, which is reinforced by the fact that I have the legs to pull them off)–let me state that the LDS Church does in no way devalue women, nor does it encourage inequality between the sexes. While we are taught that men and women are different, we are taught that we are equal partners.
So unto the choice to wear a skirt— Well, while I totally consider myself a Mormon Feminist, something about an organized protest during sacrament meeting just doesn’t sit well with me–I’m there to commune with God and interact with people who want to do the same not make political statements— I also don’t think that the best way to show that men and women are equal is for women to behave and dress like men—but that’s just me.
Don’t get me wrong, I agree that our church’s emphasis on gender roles creates room for church members to perpetuate inequalites. Listen, in undergrad I sat through a talk where some jokester stated from the pulpit that women pursuing anything beyond a college education was not what the good Lord had in mind, and then stated that the women at my alma mater may not agree with this opinion ( he was right we don’t agree with his opinion, neither do the leaders of the church, and pretty sure God expresses the same sentiments throughout the scriptures, but no big deal). So trust me I get it–I’m right there with you in the trenches with you fighting against misinterpretations and foolish musings about how boys and girls should behave but I think there are more effective ways to do so outside of rallying women to wear pants to church.
I think empowering women to be aware of their worth and to maximize there potential is the best way to combat these inequalities. For example you could get involved with the Young Women of your ward/stake and offer to host events about the importance of a college education. You can offer to teach a class on fiscal responsibility. Heck you can even step-up and be someone’s mentor. I’ve benefitted substantially from the latter. I’ve been blessed with church members, men and women alike, stepping in and offering advice on how to live my best life , ranging from how to land a full time offer during a finance internship, to coaching me through the MBA application process, to tips on how to best prepare for a life as a working mother . By empowering women to maximize their potential they will be better equipped to recognize and fight against the sexism they may encounter.
So what about the men, ehh? I say call them on their nonsense and make them eat their words. Or in other words, when you see them perpetuating sexist behavior voice your dissatisfaction and then prove them wrong. Granted, both men and women are purveyors of sexism—so lets use this one as a catch all. If you’re not the confrontational type, just prove them wrong, show them that pursuing your interest in [insert non traditional female gender role here] doesn’t make you any less than a woman—show them. In the case of my encounter with that jokester from undergrad, I vowed that one day he would work for me. I believe he was getting a degree in the medical field–so all I need to do is land a job with great health benefits, make an appointment , and vengeance will be mine–I kid, I kid…Rather, I’ll be taking my own advice and participating in the examples I listed above, and I’ll do them while wearing a skirt.
Stern So Far(Summer Start to Launch)–dedicated to the Sternies on 13th & 3rd
Well I totally failed at keeping a journal of my Stern adventures…thankfully, the Sternies on 13th & 3rd have encouraged me to jump back in during a midnight visit for *pulled pork (true story). So what have I been up to. Let’s break this into segments
Summer Start: I highly recommend anyone applying to Stern to apply to the summer start program. You get 6 credits out of the way, freeing up your schedule in the fall and spring semesters of your first year. It’s also a great way to get to know some of your classmates. I love my Summer Start Family. Seriously. I don’t know the algorithm they use to create the Summer Start Class, but they fill it with some amazing people, who become your support system when you feel like the linoleum in the 3rd floor atrium of the Kimmel Center is crumbling beneath you. They also know how to party. Excuse me while I reminisce about the good old days when all I cared about was not failing stats, negotiating carousel kangaroos (true story), deciding if Max Brenner should launch in Brazil, riding the train for hammocks in Harlem, *beer pong at 3 in the afternoon, going head to head with a soccer player for who can consumer the most sushi…memories
Launch- after Summer Start came “Launch,” NYU Stern’s 9 day orientation–themed “An Education in Possible.”
Highlights:
- Getting to meet the rest of my class—Let me just say it’s one thing to read about Stern’s community–and its another to witness it in action—the admissions office did a great job of selecting smart people, who know how to enjoy life, and who will gladly help you with yours when you are on the struggle bus–slept thru class after one too many all nighters, don’t worry there will be several “where the hell are you?” texts, with class status updates, and offers to share notes when you finally wake up—also did I mention they like to karaoke? I have found my people.
- Hearing Corey Booker, Mayor of Newark speak…seriously should he ever run for President and he needs a first lady—I’m totally available. Bahahaha I kid…I kid, but seriously, let me know.
- John Sexton, President of NYU, commenting on how the decision of who to marry is the most important decision you can ever make. –Listen, don’t you go jumping to conclusions as to why this is my highlight–This is a highlight because it reminded me that there’s more to life than this rat race to a summer internship.
- Watching the Block Video presentations–my classmates are so creative
- Basking in Dean Peter Henry’s glow on a daily basis—now I only get to see him on the glass stairs
- The boat cruise–epic
Lowlights
- Sitting in Paulson auditorium all day, erryday
- Getting threatened with expulsion after being one minute late #ridiculous. I wonder if this actually happened to anyone—highly doubt it—but think about it, how would you spin getting kicked out of bschool during orientation?
- The day after the boat cruise—I.hurt.everywhere.–totally worth it
Ok so while I had fun during Summer Start & Launch I was itching to start the semester. During both those periods, underneath all the jokes and giggles, I kind of felt like I was in a holding cell, waiting to be released…be careful what you wish for…
Classes, Clubs, Corporate Presentations, *FOMO–that combo makes ish cray—real cray. More on that later!
Ciao,
Kdub
*Pulled Pork- Caruana it was delish, Jimmy thanks for doing the dishes
*Beer Pong- relax, I haven’t started drinking (granted this Firms & Markets Midterm just might be the breaking point–kidding) I just threw the ball, my partner drank all the beer–if he ever needs a liver, he can call me…granted we won alot of those games, so you know, I think he’s fine
*Basking in Dean Peter Henry’s glow- Not a crush, just admiration. There have been distinct moments where I knew that choosing Stern was the right decision: hearing this man speak at launch, then watching him tear up as he discussed his commitment to diversity at the AHBBS conference, have been a few of those moments…Plus he’s Jamaican–umm need I say more
*FOMO-Fear of missing out
Stern (Summer Start) Week 1: So Far So Good…
So I just completed my first week of NYU Stern’s Summer Start. Summer Start is a six week program that allows students to get acclamated to the b-school lifestyle via a compressed semester and leadership workshops. The upside –you get a couple of courses out of the way so you have more time for recruiting and clubs in the fall (yay!), downside-doing homework in the summer (nay!). I’m taking Statistics, Negotiations, and Management Communication. I really enjoy my Communications class, the professor is awesome; my Negotiations class forces me to think in a new way about my interactions with people–turns out I’m both competitive and accommodating, who knew? My Statistics class…well lets just say I’m on the “struggle bus” for that one and will be saying alot of prayers to get me through that journey, including asking the big guy to help me recall everything from Econ 102.
So my favorite thing about Summer Start are my classmates…it’s hard to pick the right words to describe them, but let’s just say that for all of their accomplishments–like 4 tours in Afghanistan or running a tv production team or being a big deal at the NFL, they are extremely approachable, relaxed, and not afraid to belt out “Call Me Maybe” in a karaoke lounge…so you know, they’re my kind of people.
With that being said, week 1 was a success…week 2 on the other hand…well week 2 is starting off with alot of homework and a sleep deficit (I may have played just as hard as I worked this week, #winning), so things can only go up from here 🙂
Talking Marriage with the ‘Rents
Earlier I posted about how much I enjoy talking with my parents. Well 8 Days on a ship meant we covered alot of topics, but one that kept coming up was Marriage. I’m 26, single, and Mormon–M&G aren’t concerned, yet, but they want to make sure I’m headed down the right path lol. Discussions* included:
-Why I’m not married…G-Dubs thinks its got something to do my being too picky and *my aversion to wearing perfume. Momanager agrees with all of the above but adds my having too many male friends and my inability to look polished at all times to the list.
-Who I should marry…I feel like if a boy is referenced at least 3xs in the course of my rehashing a story, my mother feels that she must inquire if there is any potential with that individual, and if there isn’t, why not…
-Who I should have married…see above.
-What I should be looking for…G says someone you love and can have honest conversations with, M just points to G.
-Why they’re glad I’m not married…(wasn’t expecting that one huh?) But even though they’d love to see me in white, they are super proud that I have worn blue(Go Wellesley), gray (suits for corporate America), and now Purple (holla atchya girl Stern). To be clear its not that they don’t think one can accomplish the above while being married, they just feel that my singledom allows me a certain degree of freedom in how I shape my life, that I wouldn’t have if I was married.
-What I should learn from their marriage…that it takes alot of work and sacrifice to make a marriage work and as a result its not something I should rush into.
-Its absolutely fine if I never get married…this is why I love them. In a culture where marriage is seen as the ideal, M&G have always taught me that there are other ways to live a happy and fulfilling life.
Despite their harassment I walked away from the ship completely secure in my singledom, fully aware that these conversations about marriage are a direct result of my parents love and wanting the best for me, and really really grateful that I have siblings to deflect some of their attention.
*M&G: Momanager & G-Dubs aka Mom and Dad. See earlier post
*Discussions: let me paint the picture- M&G talking, while I sit there shaking my head, while people overhearing these conversations chuckle.
*My aversion to perfume: lets just say years of my Mom drowning me perfume before every outing coupled with the fact that my nose tends to fixate on the alcohol in perfume makes me less inclined to wear it very often. Don’t worry Chanel’s Chance is aiding me in my recovery.
5 Stages of being admitted to b-school
I went through the below 5 stages in less than 1 hour after to getting into b-school…
1. Holy crap they let me in!
2. Hell yeah they let me in, I’m awesome.
3. I can’t wait to put this on Facebook!
4. Wait…how much does this cost?
5. You have got to be F*%$ing kidding me!
WARNING stage 5 is a recurring event that is triggered every time you get a bill from your school of choice. You get over stage 5 by double checking that your FAFSA is complete, and convincing yourself that the best investment you can make is in yourself…or whatever it is you need to tell yourself to sleep at night after signing the master promissory notes.
Vacationing with the ‘Rents
So I spent the last week on a Alaskan Cruise with the *Momanger and *G-Dubs. Despite what the Momanager thinks I had a great time, granted there were some bouts of boredom…a direct result of my decision to unplug from the internets and not participate in Cruise Ship activities as a way of mentally and physically *prepping for b-school which starts in 2weeks, more on that later…But seriously I had a fun and relaxing time: I got more sleep in the last 7 days than I’ve gotten in the last 4weeks (can you say *OP), saw some of North America’s most breathtaking landscapes (Tracy Arm’s Fjord, Mendenhall Glacier, British Columbia’s Butchart Gardens), read 2.25 books (Still making my way through “Deluxe”), 5 magazines *, and laughed really really hard with the Momanager and G-Dubs.
I won’t rehash all the funny moments from our trip, I’ll just say that the laughter was a result of lots of teasing (gotta be able to laugh at yourself in this family…no one is safe), sharing and creating of memories, and awesome conversations. One of my favorite things on this planet is sitting and talking with my parents. I learn so much about them and and about myself from our chats. When I hear my mom talk about her hard childhood, and wanting more for herself and for her family, I know where I get my ambition from. When G-Dubs says that his family is the most important thing to him, I don’t have to look hard for evidence of that, and make sure that as I build my life I place it at the top of my priorities as well.
With that being said/written I thoroughly enjoyed my vacay with M &G and I’m glad to be moving closer to them so our hangouts can be more frequent.
*Momanager- my Mom’s self-selected nickname…it suits her well, trust me.
*G-Dubs- Dad
*Magazines- I read them like they’re books…cover to cover. Fact. Faves include Marie Claire, Glamour, and Instyle.
*Prepping for b-school- someone in admissions loved me and I got into NYU Stern. I start on July 9th (summer session). I had a little taste of what b-school would be like when I went to OP in Minneapolis last week. It tasted like no sleep, tons of networking/interviewing, redbull, and late night shenanigans with amazing people. As a result I’ve decided that the best way to prepare for the next two years is to exert as little energy as possible between now and July 9th.
*OP- Is a 5 day conference hosted by the Consortium, for students starting their MBA in the fall. It was a wonderful opportunity. I got to meet some fellow Sternies*, meet some other MBA students at other schools, ran into some old friends, make new ones, network and interview for summer internships for next year. Learn more about the Consortium here: http://www.cgsm.org/about/index.asp
*Sternies: nickname for students matriculating at NYU Stern
Salt Lake City Shenanigans
This past weekend has been the best weekend to date in 2012, and who would have thought it would have taken place in Utah. The wedding of my dear friends Ellie+ Birch is what dorve me to make my second pilgrimmage to the Mormon holy land. I kind of love these people, and if they had had their wedding *on the moon I would have been there. FACT. Granted my wallet is super grateful that they settled on having their reception at the beautiful Sundance Resort in the Utah Mountains. What I loved about this wedding is that it was sooo Ellie + Birch, from the Trent Reznor reading during the ring ceremony, the Momofuku desserts flown in from NY, to the motown beats that played on the dance floor…it was wonderful. Besides seeing two of my favorite people tie the knot, getting to see some of my old friends from my NY days was a special treat…I tell you this group of people would make the depths of hell fun, and with some of the things we did and said this weekend, we may end up getting to test this theory out…I kid, I kid lol. But seriously I love that even though most of us are now scattered across the country, we still fall back into our groove when we get together. Below are some highlights from this weekend…unfortunately most of these fall into the category of “You kind of had to be there,” I know, I’m sorry, get over it and rectify the situation by hiring us to come to your next wedding…we also do *bar mitzvahs.
-Pushing my rental car to 100mph up the canyon so I would not be late…made it with 5mins to spare.
-Teaching Chambers’ Mom how to do the Beyonce’ dance from “Crazy in Love.” She was a quick study and totally owned it on the dance floor.
-Hearing the phrase “You remind me of Morgan Freeman,” twice in one night…and know its not because I’m black
-Learning about the innerworkings of my friends illegal bodega, where she sells contraband such as diet coke, on a caffeine free campus
-Admiring an 80 year-old woman as she grooved on the dance floor, all the while knowing that if she ever threatened me to a dance battle I would lose.
-Watching a room full of Mormons get low to T-Pain’s *”Low” and then having my redheaded hostess wakeup regretting ever having dropped it low…hitting the floor is definitely a work out
-Being accused of having a *Center Stage moment during Michael Jackson’s “The Way You Make Me Feel.”
-Waking up this morning with a Momofuku cake ball hangover
“On the Moon”- total cost of a trip to the moon: $100 million. Get your tix here: http://money.cnn.com/2005/08/10/news/funny/moontrip/index.htm
“Bar mitzvah’s”- We promise it will be as fun as this: http://www.vulture.com/2012/04/drake-invites-you-to-his-re-bar-mitzvah.html. Lil Wayned in a Panda mask costs extra.
“T-Pain’s ‘Low'”- I kind of feel that this maybe the unofficial young mormon dance anthem…Play it at any Mormon party and watch the entire room get low, myself included…
“Center Stage”- Totes guilty of doing some ballerina spins on the dance floor last night…what can I say, I was on one…
“Racism in the LDS church”
It pains me to write this post, less for the subject matter, more for the fact that its 12:20am and while I’ve been stewing over the topic for several hours, (I even got on the stair master for 20mins hoping that would cool me down, all it did was remind my muscles of the agony they felt in Saturday’s body pump class) I know that it will be a while before I calm down and get to bed. Before I dive in lets cover some basics:
1. Is the LDS Church Racist?-No. Granted some people within it like to give that impression. An example of such a person will be provided below.
2. Did the LDS church prevent members of African Descent from participating in what are essential member activities such as participating in the Priesthood and attending the temple? Yes. Brigham Young, the 2nd modern day prophet of the church made a declaration stating that no man who had a drop of African blood could hold the Priesthood. This decree also prevented Blacks from attending the temple.
2a. Umm what is the “Priesthood?”- check out the definition here:
http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?locale=0&sourceId=ab839daac5d98010VgnVCM1000004d82620a____&vgnextoid=bbd508f54922d010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD
3. Does the LDS church still practice this? Nope, this “ban” was lifted in 1978. Here’s a link to the declaration: http://www.blacklds.org/declare2
4. Is Kdub, who is a strong black woman, aware of this “Priesthood ban?” Yes, yes I am. Some would say too aware, spent the 2nd half of my Wellesley years researching and writing my thesis on the topic. Thought once I turned in that mammoth of a paper I would never talk about this topic again. Oh how wrong I was…
5. So knowing all of this, you still are active in the church? Yes, totally still a card carrying member of Mormonism, granted their are some *moments where I’d like to cancel my membership…this is not one of those times.
Ok…time to dive in.
So what prompted this post? Well today AC sent me a gchat message with a link to an article on Slate about a BYU religion professor, Randy Bott, who in a ninterview with the Washignton Post, made some very racist comments about why blacks were denied the priesthood. You can read the editorial here: http://www.slate.com/articles/life/faithbased/2012/03/mormon_church_and_racism_a_new_controversy_about_old_teachings_.html
Read editorial’s *source here:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/the-genesis-of-a-churchs-stand-on-race/2012/02/22/gIQAQZXyfR_story_3.html
**Always ask for the source…a wise seminary teacher once told me that. His advice has proven invaluable.
To summarize he basically said that blacks were not allowed to have the priesthood because God did not believe that they were spiritually mature enough to receive it. He then goes onto state that this was actually a blessing, since because of their immaturity they would have misuse their priesthood powers which could have landed them in the lowest rungs of hell.
To that I say:
FALSE.FALSE.FALSE.FALSE.FALSE.FALSE.FALSE.FALSE.FALSE.FALSE.FALSE.FALSE.FALSE.FALSE.FALSE.FALSE.FALSE.FALSE.FALSE.FALSE.FALSE.
My dear Professor Bott no matter how well intentioned you may be, granted I can see no signs of it in your comments, you are wrong. You have nothing to back up you comments, no Bible or Book of Mormon reference to back that up sir. You cannot point to any piece of revelation from Adam right down to * Thomas S. Monson to validate your claims. Shame on you! Shame on you, for using your position as a religion professor at BYU to spread vile information. The writers of both the Slate and the Post articles lament about how your comments may hurt Mitt Romney’s bid for President…Forget Romney. No seriously, *Barack 2012. I am more concerned about the thousands of students who have sat thru your lectures and could take this and any other fallacies you may have taught as truth (kids this is where you need to invoke that rule about asking for the source). Imagine the kid of African decent, who because he/she is black and Mormon in America already has the burden of having to constantly defend the fact that their faith is not at war with their race, and now has to listen to you talk about how their ancestors, or better yet their Dads and Grandfathers (the raising of the ban is only 34 years old) were denied the priesthood because you are claiming that God thought they were spiritually immature. Imagine how that makes them feel. Have you no idea about how that can destroy a testimony?
Now imagine the white kids in the classroom, who think your comments are fact, and harbor these ideas with them where ever they go, thus tainting their interactions with and thoughts about black people in general.
As I think about how your actions threaten to destroy unity within out multi-ethnic church community, I feel sick to my stomach.
I feel that since you are responsible for teaching students about Mormonism and were alive when the ban was rescinded, you should me more careful about what you say in regards to the topic of race in the church. Shame on you, and I hope that as the BYU administration considers the consequence for your actions, they place firing you at the top of their list.
Umm…I totally did not intend for this post to turn into an open letter to Bott…but it’s my blog and I’ll do what I want.
The more I think about the Bott’s comments the more I accept that he is probably not alone in his vein of thought. Racism does exist within the church. The church itself does not condone it. See this link: http://www.deseretnews.com/article/765555339/LDS-Church-condemns-past-racism-inside-and-outside-the-church.html?pg=1 for the Church’s official stance on Bott’s comments and all other acts of racism. Although the Church condemns racism, issues of race are still prevalent among the members and a lot of it is because while the 1978 revelation removed the ban, it and no other revelation following it has ever given clarity as to why the ban was necessary. As a result people are left to speculate…and Randy Bott can let you know the results of speculating about the purpose of the ban. I will not speculate here but I do hope and pray that we will get more clarity in time…
So I guess your probably wondering with all of this nonsense going on why I still go to church.
Well…its because I have a strong relationship with my God, and see practicing Mormonism as the reason for that relationship and as the best way to participate in/strengthen/ honor it. With that said I work very hard to preserve that relationship. Writing my thesis on the priesthood ban was a form of preservation. I needed to know all the history for myself, so I could decide whether I or not I could continue using Mormonism as an expression for my relationship with God. After writing it, I decided I could and decided that even if I encounter situations that leave me feeling that a) I should not be Mormon b) am a 2nd class citizen with in it, I would remain firm in my beliefs. Cue Whoppi Goldberg in Sister Act .
Time for bed…
*Moments where I would like to cancel my membership: Yup I have totally considered leaving the church…no need to go into them here.
* “Always ask for the source.”- Not kidding. Do not be sheep who blindly believe that’s how you end up on a kabob…not really, but it’s your responsibility to make sure that which you take for truth is actually truth
*Thomas S. Monson- current President/Prophet for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints
*Barack 2012- It’s not that I’m counting Mitt out, its that he’s going to have to work very hard to take my vote away from Barry.
Songs I am loving right now…
It’s from Kid Cudi’s new project…love it. Thanks JH for sending it over 🙂
“Play the Guitar”- B.O.B. feat Andre 3000
B.OB. is hot on this track, but this makes me miss *Andre 3000 like whoa. Every time I listen to this song on *Spotify I have to send it to AC…until she not so politely reminded me that I have already sent it to her 4x…the 5th’s a charm 🙂
“Give Your Heart a Break”- Demi Lovato
Guilty pleasure…that I will sing at the top of my lungs, without a single concern for who can hear me…it is hella catchy.
“Nobody’s Fool”-Miranda Lambert
Love me some Miranda. That girl sings the perspective of a scorned woman like no one else. This song in particular is about when you like someone, tell your friends about it, you put yourself out there, get nothing in return and then you run into him while hanging out with your friends and your friends are like, “Hey, don’t you know him…?” Miranda gives great advice in this song. Just say no and be grateful for the the learning experience…Is it weird that this song might be my life story…moving on.
Am I mentioning this to gain some street cred back…maybe. But I also do love the Black Keys and this Buddy Holly cover is on my…well you don’t need to know what play list this is on…but if we are on a date and this song comes on, it is in your best interest to slow dance with me.
*Andre 3000- When are you dropping that next album Kid? These guest performances on Drake, B.O.B. and Beyonce’s albums are not enough…I need at least 60mins of your lyrical genius…GET.IT.TOGETHER!
*You (Andre 3000 included) should friend me on the Spotify…on the condition that you will not judge me when Spotify informs you that I have been listening to listening to Celine Dion’s greatest hits…sometimes I just need to be reminded of the “Power of Love,” ok…gosh
thekdubquies 